Cock Mystery

Erin and I just realized why we can hear so many cocks crowing in the yard of the house two doors down from our guesthouse.

You really don't need to keep a lot of roosters to keep a good backyard laying operation running. Vancouver, which recently legalized keeping hens in the city, has made it illegal to keep cocks. And with good cause. If one of my neighbours kept roosters in their back yard, then at about five o'clock one morning they'd find me, my eyes bloodshot, my shirt blood-soaked, with a bloody prostrate cock hanging out of my mouth. (And that cock would be a rooster, and there is a substantial difference between "prostrate" and "prostate", you juveniles.) I'd go weasel on their asses. Because of their wanting to avoid my psychotic rage at animals idiotically shouting nonsense at dawn being acted out, Vancouver's backyard laying operations are not self-sustaining.

Anyway, all day long we're treated to a cacophony of cocks' crows. At first, I thought it was the neighbourhood's collective breeding force serenading us, but I gradually realized that it was really only coming from one direction, from the vicinity of a couple of the smaller, ground-oriented houses.

The neighbourhood we're living in is in the old town, back away from any major streets, in a maze of little laneways. The development here is a mixture of newer, three to five story concrete buildings, and older one- and two-story buildings, many of them wood.

Below is a photo I took three minutes ago. I'm sorry it's so shitty. It really is shitty, isn't it? The sun is setting, though, so if I wait any longer, it's only going to get shittier, and I can't wait until tomorrow to write this post. Anyway, it should give you the general idea; a few taller buildings, a lot of shorter buildings, all of which are crammed very close together with very little room for any kind of agriculture, be it rows of corn, watermelon trees, or chicken farms.

Just now, not fifteen minutes ago, we heard the reason for the roosters. The cocks' crowing was joined by the jabbering of excited gents. Men were gathered around in a circle in the adjacent yard shouting excitedly. A couple of cocks were also squawking excitedly. There was a cockfight happening. We couldn't really see the action, but when it was over, we saw one of the men carrying off a bird with its neck hanging limp.

It was a backyard cockfight. The cocks are being raised to slaughter one another. So now, to add to everything, when those cocks crow, I can't just feel annoyed at them; I'm supposed to feel sorry for them. What a bunch of assholes! It's like being held up walking down the sidewalk by a guy in a wheelchair; now you're going slowly and you can't even be pissed off about it, like you would be if an able-bodied person was getting in your way.

When we first arrived in Chiang Mai, I saw a poster I thought was hilarious. It said:

COCKFIGHTING EXHIBITION AND LEARNING CENTRE

(Free wi-fi)

Yes, let's all go learn about cockfighting and watch some cockfighting, and while we're there, we'll check our email -- for free!